Hi Col, I always have questions that have never changed. Days like today when I feel a bit lost because I’ve lost sight of my purpose I thought I knew how to remain on that path but the “real world” stepped in.

1. How do I find my true purpose?
2. How do I answer the call and remain true to myself?
3. How do I regain the sight/vision or have I now lost that ability?


Dear Niqui

Niqui: I always have questions that have never changed.

Colleen-Joy: The questions that stay, that nag us are the most important ones. Only the absolute true answer, seen completely and embodied has the power to end the question. In this way questions are gifts, they put us on the path of seeking truth. Eventually truth ends the seeking and thoughts that called themselves ‘seeker’.

Niqui: Days like today when I feel a bit lost because I’ve lost sight of my purpose

Colleen-Joy: Feeling lost has a gift. It stops us. It asks us to look within. It might be uncomfortable and even painful, but it is a call home. A call to the true self. Your truest purpose cannot be lost or found, because it is who you are, not something you can do. When we believe that our purpose is a “doing” we focus on that and then can “lose” that. But who we are is always there, waiting to be fully seen, fully known, never lost. This seeing frees us from a need for a purpose. And ironically frees us to move in service and love according to our function in life.

Niqui: I thought I knew how to remain on that path but the “real world” stepped in.

Colleen-Joy: Paths come and go. Up then down, left then right. Dead-ends now then open roads next. Purpose is not to find the path; it is to know who it is that walks the path.
The “real world”, which I take your meaning to be life’s daily demands, has no power over the true self. Find this true self, meet it on your current path.

Niqui: How do I find my true purpose?

Colleen-Joy: By finding the true self.

Years ago in a time of deep life challenge I asked out of deep pain, “What is my purpose? What must I do?”. The voice of inner truth answered me with “You are asking the wrong question. You must ask ‘Who am I?”.

In that moment I didn’t understand how finding out who I am was going to help me, but I was desperate and so I listened. My inner truth then said to help my mind understand, “If you were an apple tree, and you didn’t know that you were an apple tree, how would you know what to do?” – this is the truth. We feel lost when the true self is hidden from us, like a cloud over the sun.

The true self is not something we become, we need only remove the cloud of ignorance and we find ourselves as the light of awareness. An apple tree’s purpose is to be an apple tree. In winter this looks different to summer, but always it is an apple tree. Our purpose is to find our true selves, then the apple tree can do its job, fulfill its function in life and be an apple tree.

It is appropriate to want to have a career that honors the true expression of our apple tree, but also remember that an apple tree is an apple tree right now, regardless of where it is in life.

Niqui: How do I answer the call and remain true to myself?

Colleen-Joy: As the zen folks say “Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.” Realise the true self, then there is no need to remain true, it is in fact impossible not to be our true selves. While we think we are trapped in personalities, minds and bodies, that is where the suffering comes from. When we realise we are open, awake pure awareness, then the body, mind and personality function and express in the highest. Body, mind and the apple tree design become expressions of love, expressions of awareness, expressions of divine intelligence.

Every moment is on purpose. The call is to see this, to know yourself as awareness, and to let the love, peace and joy of awareness illuminate life.

Niqui: How do I regain the sight/vision or have I now lost that ability?

Colleen-Joy: By knowing that you are awareness, you are the seer of the seen. You are that from which sight and vision arise. We might close our physical eyes, but awareness never opens or closes. Even in sleep, we are awareness, aware of the dream, aware of the sleeping mind, aware of the still mind of deep sleep.

The mind changes, the nervous system changes, all objects in awareness change, hidden then revealed. But awareness is not an object in awareness, awareness is that which is aware of all objects. You can never lose you as awareness.

Find this, soak in this like a wonderful warm bath on a cold day.

It is ordinary. It is peace, love and joy. It is home. From this, as this, life moves in harmony with life. Every movement is purpose. Then the apparent divide between you and your purpose will be no more.

All love


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