ASK COL: “Am I allowed to desire?”

What is the difference between an ego desire and the intuitive natural flow of life?
“I am writing to you as I need some assistance, guidance and knowledge to shift a limiting belief. In my working on the EBB program, the past few weeks, I notice an inner dynamic/dialogue that is blocking/limiting me from moving forward. I just feel so stuck and do not quite know what I need to move beyond this point to progress.
The situation is as follow: The surface symptom of this dynamic is that I may experience inspiration and/or a desire to explore/do/take specific action related to EBB initiatives and tasks. I however then notice that I have another dynamic that shows up shortly after the “Inspiration” phase, and the second part of this dynamic is “hard at work” to prohibit me from taking action.
This feel like such a fire and water dynamic – Fire/inspiration arises and then there are some “water” that put this “fire” out, even the spark that I originally started with. Overall it feels that I have made no forward progress, only backwards. It feels like all my ideas have now evaporated. In observing, I have noticed the following inner dialogue. It goes something like ….
  • Inspiration phase: Directed thinking and inspiration happens and a few ideas arise.
  • Killing Inspiration phase: The inner dialogue that then arises goes something like “I can not/am not allowed to “Desire” (wanting to creating something meaningful is still “desiring”). Almost like it’s saying: “Thou shall not Desire!” To Desire is “to want” something and “to want” something “is wrong”. Somehow I feel caught up in this “need to do it right and don’t break any cosmic rules”… And this whole process is leaving me uninspired and rather flat. 
I do think that I need Vedanta knowledge (and understanding) of the Human condition/function so that I can replace/disintegrate above “Thingy at its self-attacking nature”.
Can you please help me to clean this belief pattern up?”
Summary of reply, what Colleen explores (see video for full answer).
  1. The power of 1 false thought to shut down a natural intuitive flow.
  2. Desire of ego versus love flowing as service non-dual apparent movement.
  3. Question the thought – see the thought as an object.
  4. Use your intuition to sense how the thought causes contraction.
  5. I suggest you place attention on the inspiration and flow and also translate it’s voice.
  6. The challenge is to live this non-dual truth in every aspect of life, not just to know this. Chop wood carry water, go speak to people, get out there, if your heart loved to build a business of service and meaning then it is appropriate to honour that.

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